I wish I didn't have to write this post. I wish we lived in a world completely devoid of despair, where life always, always felt worth living. Or, I wish that superheroes really existed; but instead of leaping tall buildings and becoming invisible, they had a kind of ESP for the emotions of others. Empathy Man, to the rescue.
I wish the hurting could scoop out a teaspoon of their feelings and put it in another man's lemonade, so he could taste the bitterness that the psychologically and emotionally scarred have to swallow each day. I wish people didn't have to talk themselves into getting out of bed, into eating, into believing that they are worth the air they breathe and the space they take up. I wish the difference between mental illness and mental wellness was a simple prayer and, above all, I wish Jesus would come back already and eradicate all this pain.
I dedicate this post to Robin Williams, and every other person who has struggled so long against the darkness that he could no longer recognize the light.
I dedicate this post to the survivors, who have wrestled with hopelessness and stumbled, and now find themselves on the road to recovery, whatever that looks like.
I dedicate this post to the weary soldiers of the night, who battle with every last ounce of strength to find the light they once knew.
I dedicate this post to the family and friends who tirelessly try to understand, sympathize, empathize and support people who can't see why they are so loved.
No matter what the ill-informed, the ironically well-meaning, the callous, the stupefied, the angry or the uncaring say - you, friends, are victims of a fallen world. You are victims of fallen brain chemistry, fallen human relationships, fallen personality characteristics, a fallen cultural environment, and sometimes even fallen angels. The swirling darkness that envelops you or your loved ones is not your fault. There is compassion and love and, yes, even hope to be found. And no matter what the black cloud tells you to think, you are not and do not deserve to be alone.
The struggle against depression is real, and there are choices you can make to keep it at bay or allow it to overwhelm you. I know the impotence and the helplessness in the midst of the darkness, but as with all things, they can and do pass. There are countless before you who have found the courage and faith to walk through the tunnel and rediscover the light, so while you cannot trust yourself to believe it exists, maybe you can trust those who once have stood where you stand. If they have found reason to chase the light, perhaps - just perhaps - you can, too.
So for those who ask questions like Hamlet of old, I have just one request:
That night you seek won't bring you peace. That night you seek can't fix disease. That night you seek is not the same as finding refuge from the pain. The night is not a better way than facing yet another day. There's nothing good found in that night, so rage and battle for the light.
Love,
Katya
I wish the hurting could scoop out a teaspoon of their feelings and put it in another man's lemonade, so he could taste the bitterness that the psychologically and emotionally scarred have to swallow each day. I wish people didn't have to talk themselves into getting out of bed, into eating, into believing that they are worth the air they breathe and the space they take up. I wish the difference between mental illness and mental wellness was a simple prayer and, above all, I wish Jesus would come back already and eradicate all this pain.
I dedicate this post to Robin Williams, and every other person who has struggled so long against the darkness that he could no longer recognize the light.
I dedicate this post to the survivors, who have wrestled with hopelessness and stumbled, and now find themselves on the road to recovery, whatever that looks like.
I dedicate this post to the weary soldiers of the night, who battle with every last ounce of strength to find the light they once knew.
I dedicate this post to the family and friends who tirelessly try to understand, sympathize, empathize and support people who can't see why they are so loved.
No matter what the ill-informed, the ironically well-meaning, the callous, the stupefied, the angry or the uncaring say - you, friends, are victims of a fallen world. You are victims of fallen brain chemistry, fallen human relationships, fallen personality characteristics, a fallen cultural environment, and sometimes even fallen angels. The swirling darkness that envelops you or your loved ones is not your fault. There is compassion and love and, yes, even hope to be found. And no matter what the black cloud tells you to think, you are not and do not deserve to be alone.
The struggle against depression is real, and there are choices you can make to keep it at bay or allow it to overwhelm you. I know the impotence and the helplessness in the midst of the darkness, but as with all things, they can and do pass. There are countless before you who have found the courage and faith to walk through the tunnel and rediscover the light, so while you cannot trust yourself to believe it exists, maybe you can trust those who once have stood where you stand. If they have found reason to chase the light, perhaps - just perhaps - you can, too.
So for those who ask questions like Hamlet of old, I have just one request:
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
That night you seek won't bring you peace. That night you seek can't fix disease. That night you seek is not the same as finding refuge from the pain. The night is not a better way than facing yet another day. There's nothing good found in that night, so rage and battle for the light.
Love,
Katya
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